As I have posted about earlier, I was a home care CNA (Certified Nursing Assistant) last summer. It was CRAZY! I loved it, but it was crazy. And it has just been on my mind the last little while so I wanted to make sure I had it written down. Because oh my heavens I learned a lot in those few short months.
I worked some messed up hours... especially for the summer time. I would see patients from 7:30 am to 9 pm several days a week. I always worked 6 days a week, pretty much every Friday and Saturday unless I was out of town (which happened maybe twice) but sometimes had week nights off. I rarely, rarely asked for time off because it so seriously screwed up my patient's wellbeing (according to them). They would be FINE one day with another aide, but they had it in their heads that I was the only one that could and should visit them. They would worry for weeks if I told them I was going to be gone one day or if I had to switch their schedule to another time. It made me realize how comfortable we get in our schedules, and how much we love predictability and security. I don't blame them one bit. This is their health, their homes, their wellness. It is a huge privacy thing for every one of them in some way or another and it is SO so so so HARD to get to that point where you have to rely on someone else. Gosh what a difficult stage. I learned to deal with that and prayed I could do the best I could at encouraging and aiding but not taking over. I wanted to be a friend/granddaughter, not a crazy hustling doctor with too much demand on his/her time.
I would come home DEAD hahaha it tired me out so badly. I drove all over the Salt Lake Valley to different people's homes: from West Valley to Sandy, from Downtown to Murray and everywhere in between. I saw women and men of a variety of different ages and abilities and I grew to love every single one of them. Aside from my CNA class my senior year of high school and the 2 days of clinicals required for that class, I had never experienced real CNA work. I jumped right in, and soon it consumed me. I was always thinking about my patients, filling out paperwork for them, calling the office about them, scheduling and rearranging, running errands for them. At the time, I didn't think I had much of a social life. But as I have been thinking about it the past few months, my patients became my social life. I was best friends with about 12-15 beautiful people last summer. I had the best clients. Literally, the best. We had the worst of times some days, but I seriously know now what it means to love someone out of service to them.
These people relied on me and grew to trust me, and I began to rely on them. I relied on them for strength and wisdom and encouragement and laughs. I looked forward to visits with them and their families (if they had them.) They would treat me like a queen and have me floating on Cloud 9 with their sincere compliments and thankfulness. I felt like I became part of their family sometimes. What a beautiful thing it is to be able to love, sincerely, and to spread that love and joy to anyone willing to accept it.
In December my most difficult patient passed away. Oh boy we had rough times. But it's okay. I am so glad for her to pass from her pain and illness that sometimes made her so bitterly angry. She taught me incredible patience and persistence and little tricks to get around difficult personalities. She taught me the joy in simple things, like the color green and the birds on the front lawn. She taught me the beauty of a hard earned "thank you" and to never ever give up on a person. She taught me to forgive and forget, and to be thankful for the family I have. She and I became "a good team" as she would say, and I am grateful to her.
On Valentines day, my sweet sweet sweetheart passed away. Her daughter called me a few days after she passed to let me know. Gosh it shook me up a little bit. But her daughter said she had been getting progressively worse and that they were happy because now she would be with her sweetheart again. What a momentous day! I am so happy for her, and so also sad to have her sweet spirit gone from the tangible earth. In June, we were talking about Christmas for some reason. She told me she didn't think she would make it until then. But she sure hoped and thought she would make it to her birthday in July. She would be 90 then :) She sure made it. I'm not sure how much she desired to stay past that time, but we kept her going, and I am so glad I got to know her for the time that I did.
It really hit home when these two beautiful women passed from this earth. Two people I really, really worked with. I was definitely up close and personal in more than one way. I was so close to them, and it makes me ache a little bit. But I am jumping for joy for them to be released from their pain and their trials of old age. They deserve so much credit and praise for all that they have gone through and the wonderful people they are. I am so thankful to them.
The CNA life is gratifying. It is personal. It is emotionally taxing. It is physically demanding. It is mentally captivating. It is far to none the best service opportunity around, and the best friendshipping experience. It is beyond comparison. I do miss it. I miss it real bad some days! I miss the people, the feelings, the places, the smiles, the challenge.
:)
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