I Want to Punch the System

I am angry with the system. 
I am angry I am a victim of the system
and I am angry that I am angry, it's no fun.

I'm just so frustrated. Today I found out the college has added more GE reqs to be able to graduate but no one told me that, not even my advisor who I visited just a few weeks ago and have emailed several times. What's the big deal? Just a few more classes to take? The big deal is, I'vealreadytakenclassesfrom5othercollegesandhavemorecreditsthananyothercollegesophomorehereTHATSTHEBIGDEAL. I know that GEs are a good idea... sort of. They teach you to broaden your mind, learn to think, figure out your major, yadayadayada, but do colleges seriously think that by already taking upwards of 75 credits I have not done those things?! It is a never ending ladder to climb! I mean seriously! 

I feel like it's ridiculous that I am just a toy to be messed with and they can just push me around whatever way they feel like that year. It's ridiculous that all these people who spent several years in the system now tell me what to do with my every waking minute: read this, write this, quiz this, test that, memorize, answer, report, solve! Go go go! I know I can choose not to do those things, but guess what? If I don't, the system doesn't give me that 10 or 15 thousand dollar degree. So choose not to go to college? I don't really want to! But I know that I SHOULD and I want to obey, but I don't like it. And I feel that there are many more incredible and more effective ways to learn much more important things than my History teacher drones on about every Monday Wednesday and Friday. So why am I not doing them? Because I've already handed over all my money to the system already! Which trust me, leaves no room for anything else. I've already become stuck in the system (ahhhhh shoot me) because "that's what everyone else does."

I hate that someone else is telling me this is what I need to do to be successful. I seriously have always loved other people's input, I love opinions and guidance, but I love more to be able to take all of that and form my own path and choices.

In my philosophy class (oh hey I actually learned something applicable to my life, look at that) we have been talking about the unneccessarity (not a word, I don't care) of being frustrated when things turn out differently than you "plan" them to, because you have no control over the universe and really have no reason to expect that things will stay they way they are. Though I believe this, and have been trying to integrate it into my life, WOW the system still drives me crazy. I am entirely contradicting myself with every other sentence. Ooooh I just grrrr. 

The point is not even that they changed the GEs, that just triggered all of this. The point is the system. The one where I spend hundreds of dollars on textbooks that I sometimes rarely use, and then sell back to the bookstore for half price, who resells them for full price! The system that grades you on the way you think, and often encourages uniformity rather than originality. Rules rules rules! That you break, or do poorly on, and then lose points, and then feel horrible about your self esteem! The system that categorizes, numbers, charges, infiltrates brains, gosh the list goes on and on. I even love my major! I finally, finally found something that I really care about, that interests me, but it bugs me the way I am forced to learn it by the system. My brain is frantically searching to construct any and all alternative options.

Why am I SO bugged by this! I lack the clarity of mind to pinpoint it exactly. Maybe it's my brother's influence, or my stubborn/self righteous attitude. Ok I know it's a combination of both. I hate the money I spend and the fact that the things that TRULY matter; my family, service, the gospel, my Heavenly Father, Savior and Holy Ghost are being pushed to the side and said to lack importance by the system. The system is THE ONLY important thing! Don't even TRY to have a life outside of it. Because there is NO room! Just ask the professor that doesn't care about your best friend's wedding, the family you haven't seen in months, or anything having to do with human emotion for that matter. But there's more... What is it?

My philosophy has always been-- you don't like the way something is? Fix it. 
WILL DO ya'll, will! do!

I'm trying to find my sanity here now... need ta' calm down for heaven's sakes. College is only a short part of my life. It is a few years in the span of things. It is where you discover a lot about yourself. But it bugs me too that there is sooooo much pressure put on the decisions made now, and the pressure to make them now! They determine your whole life you know. Back to the positive... I don't have to feel this way. I am choosing to feel this way. I am choosing to read things a certain way, take offense and be negative. This is not who I normally am! I love life, I do. I am being an ungrateful brat. I am thankful to live in the land of the free? and where I have so many choices available to me. I am thankful for intelligence, that does allow me to read this, write this, quiz this, test that, memorize, answer, report, solve. I am thankful that I can afford college because I have been blessed with great jobs, and I'm thankful for my scholarship that the system handed over to me. Thankful not to have to pay for housing this semester, and for support from my supporters. I'm thankful for GOALS that get me to think above and beyond and see the bigger picture. I'm thankful for my companion who is always with me, and the soothing He brings to my currently fiery soul. 

Just so everyone is aware, this is NOT the end of the world, and everything WILL work out. But don't be surprised if I establish my own college, quit college and travel, or stick a lot of things to the man, or just continue to whine and complain on my entirely nonimpactful blog, 6 followers strong.